Dear Mama,

It’s raining outside. I know how much you love to play in drizzles. I always join you remember? But that’s never going to happen now is it? I guess you’ve joined Papa up in heaven now. Why did you have to go, Mama? You know, Lola locked me up in this room and told me to be quiet. I don’t know why. I see some of my playmates outside but I can’t join them. Did you know, Mama, that I have been in here for eight hours already? I can read the time now, mama. I learned it in school. It’s almost 12 and Lola hasn’t brought up my food yet and I’m starving.

Mama, why did you leave? Don’t you love me anymore? I know I’ve been a good girl. I didn’t even play with the porcelain dolls while you were away working. I promised I wouldn’t remember?

Mama, why is Lola locking me up in this cold room? I couldn’t go outside and play in the rain. I can see Bert and Tina from this window, Mama. I can see them jumping in those mud puddles. But I don’t want to play in the rain anymore, Mama. I’m sorry. I know you’d want me to be happy but rain doesn’t make me happy anymore. It only reminds me of you and how it wants to make me cry.

Lola just came in and brought pandesal and water. I asked her why I’m locked in this room. She said that I was conceived in sin and that we have to play hide and seek so that I could be saved. Mama, what is conceived in sin? Is that something good? I know sin is bad but what does it mean? Mama, please, can you find me? Please open this door I’m already cold.


Papa isn’t here to give me those big bear hugs I love. How is Papa doing in heaven? Is he happy there? Does he have beautiful white wings already? Does he have a beautiful golden halo around his head? I’m sure he does and I bet he looks beautiful. Papa¯ my angel. Don’t worry Mama you’re my angel, too. But please before you and Papa fly away open this door. You don’t need keys; you’re an angel.

Mama, I’m scared. I saw the lightning strike Aling Letty’s kubo and I couldn’t hear because of the loud thunder. Bert and Tina had left and it’s really pouring outside. Why is the sky so angry? Are you angry, Mama? Please don’t be. Don’t make it rain harder.

I can’t close the shutters, Mama. They’re too heavy and my fingers are numb. I can’t feel anything. Lola hasn’t opened the door. I think she forgot about me. Why does everybody forget about me? First Papa, then you, and now Lola. I know I’ve been good, Mama. I did all my chores and listened to my teachers so why is it that nobody wants me? Even the rain doesn’t want me anymore. See how each drop pierces my skin? I know you told me not to cry but I can’t help it. Can you hear me, Mama? Please help me. I really promise to be good now.




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