I WAS having a serious talk with one of my few closest friends in one of the library discussion rooms a couple of weeks ago. It was raining hard and we just stayed and talked there to let the downpour pass.
As Journalism students, we usually rebutted one another. Our conversation usually turned heads and raised eyebrows especially because we argued to the point of pulling each other’s hair.
Yet unlike our usual chats, that day in the discussion room was like one of those moments when you cannot say anything relevant. In fact, both of us were silent, staring blankly at the glass windows of the room, watching students do their daily routines. It could be that we were just sad because it was then just the two of us instead of the usual big barkada that we go out with.
The silence was deafening. It was as if we were waiting for the other to start talking. After a long while I managed to utter something that actually came from nowhere. Without thinking I said, “If I would die tonight, I would not be happy.”
Finally, it rang a bell. Mayo and I started talking about life. I do not know what prompted me to say that; perhaps it was the feeling of dread that I had then. It was as if time was ticking fast and I had no capacity to grasp whatever moment I had then. I felt as if it were the last day of my life, the last time I would feel the rain. It felt as if I was making my last conversation.
Scared that what I feel could be true, I began looking back how my life has been. I started to panic realizing that I had not lived my life to the fullest. I felt that my accomplishments were nothing. What if I had 24 hours to live? What would be the best way of spending the remaining hours day of my life? It would certainly be not enough to finish all the tasks I had to do in my life.
The problem with people is that they do not realize how each second counts. I remember what my mother used to remind me, “Do not postpone for tomorrow what you can do today.” So people should live each day as if it were their last.
On a personal note, I felt that the things I did, however right or wrong, had taught me in many ways. You can never lose in life, you only gain from it. Failures make us strong and success makes us move on.
If I have a day to live, it will be sad. I will wish I had enough time to do everything that I should do.
But for me, the best way to spend my last day would be to let people know how much they have touched my life. My last day would be spent searching for ways to get in touch with every person who matters to me. I would have only three important things to say to them: I am sorry, thank you and I love you.
