EXHAUSTION crept on your being after ascending the next flight of wooden stairs, the creaking noise brought about by each step interrupted the silence that had long settled on that decrepit apartment.
That night was no different than any other night except that it was colder—the numbing cold lingering with every passing minute. The moonlight cast grim patterns through the slightly shuttered windows.
Your thoughts wandered and I felt the heavy beating of your heart. I felt uneasy during that time. Something told me that something bad was going to happen.
A few moments later, you found yourself in a room were the scent of formaldehyde hung thickly in the air. Bottles were piled in a corner of the smeared table. You shivered when you caught sight of a fetus exhibited somewhere at the far end of the room.
Then a female voice summoned and asked you to lie down. Everything is going to be all right, I heard her say. She explained the procedures briefly. And then I knew. It was the scariest moment of my short life.
I desperately tried to stop you. Don’t do it mom. But you did not listen. You were deaf to my pleas. You were consumed by fear and selfishness. Even though I’m frail, I clung to your womb with all my might. But the woman was stronger than I was. She kept on tugging until I finally lost my grip. I struggled hard and never gave up without a fight.
You didn’t help me, mom. You just lay flat on your back and wished the whole session would be over soon. So you could get back to your life. Without me.
I let out a feeble cry as I found myself outside your body. My eyes were blinded by the light. After that, I found it hard to breathe. Slowly, death took its toll over.
There was nothing else I could do now. What had I done to deserve this?
I could have been a cute baby girl. I might even look just like you. You would probably enjoy dressing me up in pink and doing my pigtails. You would have held me in your arms and whispered to my ear that I was the best thing that ever happened in your life. And I would make you proud.
I could have been a teacher like you or maybe a ballerina. You robbed me of my childhood dreams. If only you let me live to see the world and wonder at its splendor. But that would never happen because you let me live for only twelve weeks.
Now, I know that I am just a part of your forgotten past. I have forgiven you. May you realized that the greatest thing in life is to be a mother.
